I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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