Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
