The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
