Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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