gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
