Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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