You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
