There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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