I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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