Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
