I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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