what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
