Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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