i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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