Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
