just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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