Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
