in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
