Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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