i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
