guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
