Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize