i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
