Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
