Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
