I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize