we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize