I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
