My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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