i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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