So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
