If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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