i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize