SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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