you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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