I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There's always time for handjobs
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
