the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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