And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just had sex on a roof
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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