he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
