I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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