i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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