Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I hate all girls vehemently.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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