I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
