I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize