he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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