Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
party gras won. party gras always wins.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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