Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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