He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
third nipple confirmed
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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