Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just want to make out with him forever
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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