like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
