The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
