So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
