who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Vodka?
Forever.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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