My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
