Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
