everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
