Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
