I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
