If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
