Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
