Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
