I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He did a backflip because drugs
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
