I accidentally had phone sex last night
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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