Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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