Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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