I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
