You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
and she was petting her beer can
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
