marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's blow job season.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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