I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
