maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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