Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I checked into jail on foursquare
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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