i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
