hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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