Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
