How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize