Swine flu is the new snow day.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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